At first, do not suppress.
Let’s say I tell you to not think about the color blue.
What are you thinking to do?
I’m going to guess the color blue.
The more you try to ignore something and tell yourself you shouldn’t think about it, the more ingrained it will become within your mind. Ignoring your confusions, shock, anger, sadness, and questions will only cause you to become bitter and hard-hearted. The strength of a person is not in how cold and unfeeling they can be to pain and the world, but in how bright, cheerful and hopeful they can become even after going through hell.
Listen to the voices of shock and hurt within you and make sense of it all. Give your heart time to accept the pain and talk to yourself as if you want to fix things.
Talk to people
You’d be surprised at all the ideas and realizations that can come out of a good conversation. Talk to the people around you who you know are intelligent enough to understand the situation’s complexity and offer good insight. Some of your friends will be pretty likely to offer biased opinions to comfort you and try to make you happy. But realize that there is much more to unpack from your situation than they can help. So be careful who you look to for insight on how to deal with your problems.
Go on vacation, if possible.
A change of environment does wonders for the soul in times of distress. Runaway somewhere quiet to a comfortable home, with soothing scenery and little or no company. Solitude is often much more embracing than people are when you’re going through something harrowing. Please do whatever you like in the absence of prying eyes and let your mind comfort itself with a peaceful landscape and calm introspection.
You don’t have to isolate yourself. But don’t go with anyone; you’ll have to pretend to be happy and fully capable around. Choose a company that’s understanding and caring.
Get involved in your hobbies.
Get busy with things that you are passionate about and want to get better at. Grow as a person through practicing the things that will make up your future. You may have lost love, but you can always do your best to fill up your future days with things and people you love.
Talk to yourself properly.
How you talk to yourself matters. Even self-deprecating jokes can hurt you. Even if you have made mistakes and caused pain to others and yourself, being hateful and demeaning to yourself will not make the situation better in the long run. Guilt and feelings of worthlessness can only be out of being willing to treat yourself like someone you love and want to help get better. Treat yourself like you would a lover. Be there for yourself and build yourself up.
And lastly, be kind to others.
Treat people with the kindness you know they need to better themselves from whatever pain they’ve got. You can’t obtain a particular place if you don’t love someone. When you’re kind to others, you slowly build a world for yourself and others that are safe and loving. There is nothing as soothing as being powerful enough to make someone’s life better. All it takes is a little care.
